So once you decide to get chemotherapy you usually have the option of getting a port put in your chest or receiving chemo through an IV. I decided to get a port. A port is a small device that has a tube that goes directly into a vein in your neck, it is about the size of a quarter and typically it is placed just under the skin on one side of your chest. Blood draws are done through the port, as well as chemotherapy. Once again I am given conscious sedation and the placement of the port goes off without any complications, thanks in part to my dad making it very clear to the surgeon that I needed a lot of drugs.

At this point it is important to note that I believe having an advocate with you during all procedures is extremely important. My dad was my advocate and was with me during almost every single procedure and when I had to be hospitalized, which happened quite often. I had a nurse tell me once “you should always have someone with you to make sure we don’t kill you” and although this might seem unprofessional, after going through this journey, I agree 100% and found her honesty refreshing.

After the port was placed I was wheeled back to my room and shortly afterwards there was a new doctor in my room with a nurse and to my surprise I was going to have a bone marrow biopsy. I didn’t know what this meant, but let me tell you, if you are ever presented with this unfortunate situation make sure you demand lots of drugs. I can only conclude that this doctor thought I was still drugged up enough from the previous procedure that I didn’t need any more drugs to keep me from feeling anything. But she was wrong….I’m laying in my hospital bed and the doctor pulls up my gown to expose my hip, she makes an incision in my hip with a long scalpel all the way to my bone, and I start crying and repeatedly telling her “I can feel that.” She then takes, what my dad later described as a dent puller and drills into my bone while the nurse holds me down and I scream and cry. All my dad could do was keep telling me it was almost over. This is one of the worst things I had experienced thus far. After it was over the nurses left me alone the rest of the evening, apparently they could here me screaming through the door and decided I just needed to rest. The next day my oncologist came to visit me I told him I never want to see that doctor again! He kind of smiled and said “ya I heard that didn’t go very well.”

One thing that going through all this has taught me is that you have to be your own advocate and defender, as well as having someone with you to speak up when you can’t, or say things you’re not comfortable saying. On this journey there were multiple times that I would say “I don’t want that nurse again” or “I’m not doing that” and although it might seem strange because most of us are raised with doctors being authority figures it’s important to listen to your instincts. But keep in mind, sometimes it doesn’t matter that you don’t want to do something, as I also learned, there are times you just have to accept that there are scary things on this journey and you are going to have grin and bare it.